Experts in Exterior Illumination

Clark and Russ Griswold (aka Caleb and his dad) spent the holiday up on our roof stringing lights, lights, and more lights. Luckily, neither of them fell off any ladders, no neighbors were harmed during the production, and no unexpected guests rolled into town in their rusty old RVs during the ceremonial lighting. The two holiday overachievers even put the lights on timers, so every evening at precisely 5 o'clock I notice a bit of a glow shining through our windows. But there is one kink that needs to be addressed: Every evening at precisely 5 o'clock, I also notice that several of our TV channels stop working. Seems as though the frequency of the lights is interfering with our satellite. It's a minor inconvenience right now, but if we can't work something out by the time Jon and Kate Plus Eight airs, then I may just have to put bed rest on hold and fix the problem myself!

Giving Thanks

Though not necessarily planned this way, Caleb and I hosted our first Thanksgiving. We had a house full of family, plates full of food, and rooms full of laughter. And for the first time ever, I was thankful for being on bed rest: no cooking or cleaning for this chick, my only job was to enjoy the company and keep a low profile. Mission accomplished!

Ladies Man

Historically speaking, men use puppies and babies as bait to snag single women. But after Caleb made a trip to Babies R Us last night to add some items to our registry, it is obvious that those registry guns are also powerful tools to swoon the ladies. Or maybe the sad, sad story of the poor husband who heads out to the store to take charge of the baby registry while his frail wife lies at home on the couch too vulnerable to move (tear streaming down the cheek is optional) is what sealed the deal. Either way, the ladies of Babies R Us noticed my husband. I'm proud. The guy still has his touch!

Positively Maybe

My doctor administered a test on me yesterday to determine whether I was at risk for delivering early. If it came back negative then I was in the clear, nothing to worry about. If it came back positive then there would be a 50/50 chance of me delivering our little guy within the next two weeks. I am not a statistics gal, but doesn't a pregnant lady always have a 50/50 chance of delivering her baby within a certain time frame...either she does or she doesn't?!

Well, my test came back positive. But my nurse assured me that there is nothing to be worried about, and she went on to tell me that there are several variables that make this test a bit inaccurate for us "positive" gals. Instead, I am supposed to listen to my body and if I feel that I am in active labor, I should contact my doctor (obviously!). So I am going to take these results with a grain of salt (minus the lime and tequila), and not bother worrying about delivering our little guy early unless I find myself dilated 10 cm!

Fantastic: Mothers-in-Law

Caleb's mom is in town for the week to hang out and help out. As if that isn't enough, she brought gifts! Movies, magazines, and munchies from her and my sister-in-law to help me occupy my time (and trust me, I have a lot of time these days!) But the gifts that stole the show are the insanely cute, itsy-bitsy little outfits she got for our little guy. I didn't know that they made man pants in smaller-than-small sizes. But they do. And I cannot wait until the little guy gets to wear them! (Well, actually, I can wait... at least 18-25 days...)

Thanks

Caleb and I were off to the doctor's office this morning to get a progress report on the little guy (and me, too). The doctor doesn't seem overly concerned with anything that has happened the past few weeks, which I am taking to be a good thing. The appointment was pretty quick, and as the doctor was leaving the room, she left me with one final thought: Have fun spending Thanksgiving on the couch having to watch a bunch of parades and football games. Thanks, Doc. I can't wait...

Terrible: Celebrity Baby Names

Not being a celebrity does have its perks: Paparazzi don't follow me around. I can go out in public without makeup on. Oh, and most importantly, I am under no pressure to give our little guy a completely outrageous, ridiculous name that people will forever be making fun of (i.e., Bronx Mowgli). Yep. That is Ashley Simpson's baby's name. I try not to judge because I am sure that whatever perfect name we come up with for our little guy, there will be someone out there who isn't convinced that it is the best name ever... but Bronx Mowgli. Seriously?

Shake It

I am currently taking a medicine to help calm down my uterus so the little guy can cook a bit longer. Aside from the fact that I have to take it every six hours (no exceptions, which means waking up twice during the night to pop a pill), this medicine has turned me into a jitterbug. My heart races--I can feel it beating out of my chest--and my hands shake, sometimes uncontrollably. I feel like a pregnant 80-year-old woman with Parkinson's who just finished running a marathon. Is that even possible?!

Visitors Welcome

The one (and only) great thing about being on bed rest is that I have an endless flow of visitors coming to help me pass my time. My brother came over Monday to challenge me to a game of cards, drink Caleb's beer, and eat our snacks. My dad brought me lunch on Tuesday, and I taught him how to use his new cell phone (i.e., how to make phone calls--he is very simplistic when it comes to technology), my mom has come over every day to make Caleb and me food, take me to doctor's appointments, and fill my time with pointless conversation, (She is a pro at that, and I don't mind listening!) and today, my great friend Tasha stopped by to heat up some leftovers for lunch and curl up on the couch with me. Now if I could just convince my visitors to rub my feet when they stop by then I will have it made!

Beautify Me

These past couple of weeks have left me with quite some time to think about things. One thing I have been thinking about is just how bad I could use a pedicure and a manicure. I wonder if the Asian beauticians down the street make house calls?!

Let's get Medical

Because my life has become incredibly monotonous these days, I look forward to the opportunity to go to my doctor. It gives me an excuse to shower (something I am not supposed to be doing more than I have to) and I get to breathe in some fresh, cold November air. Today was one of those days. I had an ultrasound this morning to check my cervix. The pictures revealed some news: both good and bad. I'll list the good news first. My cervix is still over 3 cm long, which means I have a ways to go before reaching the end (phew!). The bad news is that I am "funneling," which means my cervix is beginning to dilate from the top to the bottom. Funneling itself is not a bad thing, but what makes it a little worrisome is that I am still just shy of 32 weeks of pregnancy so we need to keep this under close watch. But the really bad news about this whole funneling thing is that now my bed rest also includes "strict pelvic rest" a.k.a I am not allowed to sit or stand unless I absolutely have to. Gravity is the enemy. So if you need me you can find my lying (not sitting) on my couch. Any good movie suggestions to pass the time?

A Day in the Life

Since being put on bed rest, I have had quite a bit of time to hang out with my furry friend, Sadie. She has played the role of my shadow for the past several days, and I have learned a bit about her daily routine. I present to you, A Day in the Life of Sadie:

8:30: Sadie and I get out of bed. (Yes, the same bed. She sleeps by my feet.)

8:30-8:45: Sadie heads outside to sniff around and bark at passersby (she thinks she is tough, but she is far from it)

9:00: Sadie finishes eating and heads upstairs. Back to bed for her. All of this activity must have tuckered her out!
11:00: I hear Sadie trotting down the stairs. It's time for her to check up on me. She knows right where to find me these days.

11:15-present: Sadie is sleeping by my feet on the hide-a-bed in the family room. I know she is sleeping because she is snoring. Are there Breathe-Rite strips for dogs?!

Sadie's excitement for the day (and mine too) will happen around 4 when Caleb gets home from work. She will greet him at the door with her chew toy, lick his pant leg (weird habit she has), then head back to bed. I used to be jealous of her lifestyle (minus the sniffing around and licking pant legs) before I had to live it!

Hot, Hot, Hot

For the past few weeks I have been dealing with serious heartburn, just another side effect of pregnancy. The old wives' tale goes that if you have heartburn in your pregnancy then your baby will be born with a good amount of hair on his head. I don't know if there is any truth to that superstition, but if there is, I can assure you that the ridiculous amount of heartburn I have been having will ensure that the little guy will come out with a head of hair and a full beard to match!

On Second Thought...

It's cold, it's windy, and now it's snowing. Maybe this whole bed rest thing isn't such a bad idea after all!

Grounded for Good

Trip two to the hospital Saturday morning has left me condemned to the couch until delivery day--no exceptions. The good news is that although I had similar symptoms to last week's scare, my symptoms this time around were far less impressive than the last time so I was able to eat breakfast, take a shower, and call my doctor before checking in to my room.

The stats for this week's trip to the hospital break down this way:
1: The number of shots I received to calm down my "irritable uterus"
2: The number of labor and delivery rooms Caleb and I toured while at the hospital. We wanted to see what we will be staying in when the day finally gets here!
3: The number of contractions I was having per hour while I was being monitored (that is completely normal, and a very good change from the 20-some contractions per hour I was having during last week's trip to the hospital!)
4: The number of hours I spent in the hospital while they monitored my uterus and the little guy

5: The number of times Caleb complained that the Iowa/Purdue game was not on TV

I see my doctor again tomorrow morning, and I am sure she will confirm that my couch and I will become best friends (or worst enemies) over the next few weeks. The good news is that I only have 26 days left until I am 35 weeks pregnant. At that time, the little guy should be cooked enough if I absolutely must have him early. Let the countdown begin!

Shine On

I upgraded my incredibly-outdated-but-does-what-I-need-it-to cell phone yesterday for the LG Shine and so far I love it! It's red, it's flashy, and it has several unnecessary features (e.g., a mirror). Oh, and Lauren Conrad from MTV's The Hills has one. This phone is sure to make me red carpet ready!

For the Record

With a little one on the way, Caleb and I agreed it is time for me to purchase some life insurance. So today a representative came to our house, asked me several questions, did some tests, and left with a few specimens. In about four weeks (or so) I will know exactly what my life insurance premium will be. Though I am not looking to have an insane amount of coverage, I can't help but wonder if my caring, sweet, innocent Caleb has anything "planned" for me once my insurance policy becomes effective. I sure don't want to become another Dateline NBC statistic, so if I should go missing in approximately four weeks (or so), I blame Caleb!

Special Delivery

The mailman greeted me at my front door today with a care package from my mother-in-law full of goodies and things to pass the time while I spend my days on the couch. What a great surprise! The best part is that I don't have to share any of my treats with Caleb (although I may let him have a few pieces of chocolate if he is super nice to me!) Thanks, Joan, you sure made this whole stay-off-your-feet thing a little easier and a lot more entertaining!

Meals on Wheels

Since I have been condemned to the couch, my mom (and brother, too) has stepped up to the plate insisting on providing Caleb and me with some home-cooked meals so that we don't have to bother with cooking. (Trust me, neither Caleb nor I put up a fight to this offer!) She has gone 3-for-3 with yummy recipes, but she informed me this morning that she is fresh out of ideas (and probably out of dishes--we now have a collection of her cooking bowls!) I guess we will just have to resort to eating one of the several leftovers we have filling up our fridge. Hopefully this deliver-a-meal-a-day trend will pick back up once the little guy gets here (and lasts until he heads off to college!)

Hiccups

Now that I am limited to life on the the couch, I have had plenty of time to become a keen observer to what is going on in my body. The little guy seems to be constantly moving around, which I love to feel (though I could do without the jabs to the ribs or the bouncing on the bladder). But one thing that I can't seem to get away from are his hiccups. Hiccups are a very healthy part of the developing baby, so I do find comfort in knowing that he is just exercising his little body. And although cute at first, I am noticing these hiccups many times a day and they last several minutes longer than I would like them to. I just wish there was a way I could scare them out of the little guy!

Preparing for an Interview

Caleb and I have been searching for the perfect pediatrician for our little guy (and after last week's scare, we have been speeding up the process just in case we are running tight on time). We obviously had several criteria in mind as we narrowed down our options:

In-network? Yep.

Close to home? Uh-huh.

A recent grad (within 10 years) with an American sounding name? Check.

Iowa grad? Well, sort of. The pediatric clinic we are interested in does have an Iowa grad practicing there, but she is not currently accepting new patients. So, we are meeting with one of her colleagues. The catch is that she is an Iowa State grad (boooo), but her redeeming quality is that her husband is an athletic trainer for the same company Caleb works for, so it just might work out OK.

We have set up an appointment at the clinic to meet with the doctor and the office liason. I guess the meeting is set up to make sure that we feel confident trusting our baby with the staff. I would imagine it might be impressive for me to compile a list of questions to take with us to the "interview." Because I have never done this before, I have no idea what types of questions would be important to ask. So, moms out there, I need your help. What type of issues should I be concerned with?

Welcome to Our Crib

Caleb and I put the little guy's crib together the weekend before things went haywire. I LOVE IT! Now we just need some sheets and a mattress to complete the look. Hopefully the little guy hangs in there (literally) for 7 more weeks before we get to try it out!

Say "Cheese"

Here is a picture of our little guy. He seems to be a bit camera shy and managed to turn away from the ultrasound every time the tech went to snap a shot, so this is the best one we could get. I boxed in his face (not sure what the other stuff in the picture is...)

Because Caleb had to work yesterday, my mom took me to my doctor and she was in the room with me during the ultrasound. She told me that her mother once said to her that you will never find a baby more beautiful than your own, but after seeing her grandbaby it didn't take my mom long to tell me that she thinks her grandbaby takes the cute cake! Thanks, Mom (I think...)

MIA

For those of you who regularly check my blog, you may have realized that I have been missing for a few days. Well, I'm back and happy to report that things are going to be OK. But the past few days have been a bit crazy. I'll give you a breakdown in numbers:

1: number of nights I had to stay in the hospital after experiencing what the doctors labeled as "pre-term labor"
2: number of steroid shots (not in the arm) that I was given to speed up our little guy's lung development in case he decided to show up early
3: average length, in minutes, between contractions I was experiencing for several hours on Wednesday before things got under control (luckily, the contractions were completely not painful!)
4: number of hospital meals that Caleb and I had while I was admitted (and, no, hospital meals are not good!)
5: number of IV units I went through in my 19 hour stay at the hospital
6: total hours of sleep I had during my stay at the hospital (that may even be a bit of an exaggeration!)
7: number of weeks left before I feel completely comfortable delivering our little guy
8: number of channels on the hospital TV. Caleb and I eventually opted to pass time watching some DVDs he picked up at home.
9: number of pills I had to take to stop my contractions
10: the length of time in minutes it took me to take what was supposed to be a quick shower at the hospital (there was absolutely NO water pressure!)
11: number of days left until I have my next doctor's appointment, at which time I will be told whether I still need to be on bed rest

The good news is that all of the ultrasound reports came back A-OK! Cervix looks good, amniotic fluid looks good, the little guy is already head down (hurray!), and if I go full-term the little guy won't be so little: he is projected to be an 8 pound baby (I'm starting to think maybe coming a few weeks early wouldn't be such a bad thing!)

And maybe the silver lining of this whole experience is that I got to see a 4-D ultrasound of the little guy, and he is one cute little peanut. I can't wait to meet him in person!

Domestic Goddess

Yep, that's me. I'm a domestic goddess. I might not be able to iron or fold sheets, but when it comes to whipping up a couple of curtains, I'm your girl. I was in search of the perfect curtains for our little guy's room for quite some time, but couldn't find what I was looking for so I decided to make them myself. Next project: a coordinating crib bumper.

Note: If you are interested in taking a closer look, you can click on the image, which zoomes in on the picture.

Cankles

For those unfamiliar with the term, cankles are what you call it when your calves blend in with your ankles. And for the first time ever, you can find them on me. I picked them up sometime during our roadtrip to see Iowa play Illinois at Champaign this past weekend, and I can't seem to shake them. The worst part about this whole swollen mess is that Caleb and I are going to a wedding reception this weekend, and I bought a really cute dress to wear--one that is far too short to cover up the cankles. At this point, I am considering going on mandatory bed rest for the week so that I can recover from this fashion faux pas in time for the weekend.

Back to School

We started our prenatal class today, which Caleb refers to as the "How to Not Kill Your Baby" class. How endearing. We were handed quite a bit of information and had the opportunity to watch some video footage of some very graphic things. I won't go into detail, but I can assure you I will not be allowing Caleb to capture those same things on our home video. And, of course, Caleb came to class with plenty of innapropriate-under-the-breath comments (and managed to find all of the nipples pictured in the workbook we were given). I can't imagine what sidenotes he will come up with next week to supplement the instructor's lesson.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

On the first day of the month, my mom always makes it a point to say to me: "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit." I guess it is supposed to be good luck. I don't understand the reason behind this superstition, but I do repeat the Rabbit mantra at the beginning of each new month. Ironically, since moving to our new house rabbits have become the enemy (I won't get into it now), so kicking off each new month by taking a moment to think of the rabbit leaves me a little hot under the collar!