Glow.

 

Meet Glow. Glow is a ratty, tattered, stinky, Glow Worm that is also Camryn’s lovie. Camryn sucks on one ear, and rubs the other. It keeps her calm. She needs Glow, so we need Glow. And yesterday when we were leaving the grocery store, Camryn was throwing her typical, pre-terrible twos fit as I was trying to buckle her in to her car seat. Somewhere during her fit, Glow was chucked from the car. I realized that when we got home and couldn’t find the darn doll. And then I threw a fit because I had a car full of groceries that needed to be put away and three kids that I had to wrangle back in the car so we could go retrieve Camryn’s lifeline. GAH! We arrived back to the grocery store not more than 15 minutes after we left, and I went straight to the lost and found. Nada. So I very creepily scoured the parking lot beneath the cars at ground zero. Gone. And then, for whatever reason, I called to a cart collector kid on our way out of the parking lot to ask if he had seen Glow. At which point he reached in to the garbage can and pulled out our beloved Glow! My blood pressure returned to normal, and the rage left my body. And as we pulled away from the grocery store, Mason very matter-of-factly without any sort of emotion stated: It sure is a good thing we found that f***ing Glow Worm.

Couldn’t agree more, Mason. And I will carefully choose my adjectives next time I am angry!

From us to you…

Wishing you the best holiday ever!

Catch up #9

On the ninth day of catch up, my blog post will read:
Mason says the craziest things.

For Mason’s holiday program at school, the kiddos acted out a poem in which candy canes fall from a tree, and the kids pick them up and eat them. Being the animated little ham that Mason is, he adlibbed by picking up his non-existent candy cane and very loudly exclaimed: Woah!!! That was biiiiiggggg one!

And then when we were driving in the dark the other night, something thunked against the outside of our car near where Mason was sitting. We asked Mason if he saw anything. This was his very serious answer: Yes. A giraffe. It kicked the car.

And let’s not forget that time on Thanksgiving when Mason saw a pair of dishwashing gloves draped over the counter and announced: Hey, someone left their hands in the sink…

This kid absolutely cracks me up. And a big part of me believes that he has no idea he is being funny.

Catch up #8

On the eighth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Me buying myself the perfect jewelry.

A story for the ages begins with me. The Saturday before Thanksgiving.

Since becoming a mom, I have wanted a piece of jewelry to represent my children. I knew I wanted rings. And I knew that I didn’t want birthstones. The rest remained gray, and years passed by as my mind thought about the details. Sadly, this August my aunt passed away very unexpectedly. She left behind her inheritance to my mom and her siblings. And my mom shared some of the inheritance with my brother and me as a gift from my aunt. It was a couple days after receiving this that I knew exactly what I was going to do with the money: I was going to buy three rings, each as unique as my kiddos. And this is what I came up with:

I randomly called up my mom one Saturday a few weeks back and asked her if she would like to go shopping with me. I had no intentions to look for rings that night, but as fate would have it, we ended up in the mall. In a jewelry story. Stacking rings. No dice. I wasn’t in love with anything I tried on, and we left. I told my mom that there was no way that I would jump in to making such a big purchase without sleeping on it—even if it felt right. It’s just not me. I think things through without making any rash decisions. And then for giggles, we went in to another jewelry store a few fronts down. I tried on those three rings. And without hesitation, I bought them. No sooner had my sleep-on-it conversation with Mom cleared the air than I was handing over my credit card to the sales clerk. So now I have three rings—each completely different than the next—stacked on my right ring finger. They have taken up permanent residence on my hand, and I will always think of my kiddos, my aunt, and my mom when I look down at my sparkly sentiments.  My hope is that I can pass one ring down to each of my children, and someday they will do the same. They can fight over who gets which ring after I’m gone!

Catch up #7

On the seventh day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Our dishwasher crapping out for two weeks.

It's not until stuff like this happens that you really appreciate modern conveniences. Thinking I should have purchased economy packs of Chinette, and saved myself the time of hand-washing everything. And realizing hand-washing is easier said than done, as I am noticing a soapy froth on the top of all our drinks (and morning cereal. Eww.). Lesson learned: Rinse twice, and never let your home warranty company control repairs.

Catch up #6

On the sixth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob’s friends coming over for a party.

Because when you start school, ain’t no way are you going to “settle” for a family-only par-tay! So we invited a dozen kids over to get rowdy and rambunctious in our basement. Our unfinished basement. Where nothing can get broken. And it was a blast! We started out with an ornament-making craft, decorated our goodie bags, and then quickly moved on to games. Lots of relays. Lots of prizes. Lots of fun! Will I do it again? Absolutely! But thankful that, for now, hosting a birthday celebration is just a once-a-year event!

Catch up #5

On the fifth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob ruling the roost on his birthday.

 

Caleb surprised Jacob on his birthday by taking the morning off work, which meant some serious family fun time. It started with a trip to the toy store where Jacob was given $20 by us to pick out anything in the store he wanted. And after perusing the aisles several times, he carefully selected a remote control car that he paid for all by himself at checkout. Hot stuff! A quick stop back home to play with said toy, and it was time to head out to lunch—at McDonald’s of course! The kids sucked down their food in record time so as to not waste any valuable play time. And at about the time that the boys were making friends with all of the other kids, it was time to pack up shop and head out to school. Jacob came home from school with a birthday crown and a story about how everyone who sat at his table was sick and that he got to sit at another table so that he wouldn’t be alone on his birthday. Pathetic? My family joined us for cake, ice cream, and chaos later on that evening. And all small members of my family were in bed before Modern Family came on. Phew! A busy and fun day for us all. I love birthdays!

Catch up #4

On the fourth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob’s middle-of-the-night birthday party.

Jacob turned six last Wednesday, and he and I rang in his sixth year at two in the morning. On the dining room floor. Opening an LCD light-up candle. His idea. Not mine. So in the middle of the night I was awakened by what I would discover was an incredibly excited birthday boy who was downstairs cutting open the package to this obnoxious candle he picked out. Rule was that he couldn’t open it until his birthday. Seems he took that statement a bit more literal than expected. We cleaned up the mess, and headed back upstairs. And would you know that our elf on the shelf surprised Jacob with a bouquet of balloons at the foot of his bed? Well, the elf screwed up. Big time. Because if you touch the elf, he loses his magic. And if the elf is holding the balloons, and you can’t touch him, then you can’t touch the balloons. Damn elf caused a middle-of-the-night meltdown. And after I calmed down Jacob, I woke Caleb and suggested that our elf find a new place to rest. And he did. Chucked in the depths of our closet. That’ll teach him!

Catch up #3

On the third day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob’s second lost tooth will probably cause him to need therapy.

Tooth #2 bit the dust last week. And, oh boy, was that a struggle. Let me paint the picture: It’s a wrestling practice night, Jacob’s tooth is flapping out of his mouth as he talks, and Caleb and I were trying to impress upon him the importance of yanking it before practice to avoid a swallowed tooth or—even worse—a literally lost tooth on the wrestling mats. Jacob wimped out, spiraled in to a blubbering mess, we tried to bribe him with ice cream and candy for dinner, and I ended up pinning him to the floor while Caleb pulled the tooth free from the last remaining thread of gum. As collateral for the pain Caleb caused, I let Jacob sock Caleb in the gut. Fair is fair. And when parental trust issues surface years down the road, he will have this experience to reference. The question I will probably never ask him: Wasn’t it worth the buck the tooth fairy left?

Catch up #2

On the second day of catch up, my blog post will be:

Jacob spelling the word boloney.


Out-of-the-blue convo with Jacob:

Jacob: Mom, I know how to spell boloney.
Me: How?
Jacob: BS

We will go with that for now, but we may have to revisit the spelling of this word in first grade...

Catch Up #1

On the first day of catch up, my blog post will be:

Jacob wearing a singlet and wrestling.

Jacob starting wrestling, oh, a month or so ago, and has competed in tournaments the past two weekends. And though he has only won one of four pairings, he looks adorable in his little wrestling costume (HA!) and leaves happy regardless of wins or losses because he gets a medal every time.

Rewind to last weekend: After his first match up—in which he was pinned—Caleb and Jacob were going over video footage and discussing what he could have done differently. And to get Jacob to listen, Caleb struck a deal with Jacob in which he could pick out any candy item as a victory prize should he win the next pairing. And Jacob won! He was using techniques that the two were discussing, he look determined and he won by nearly 10 points. Caleb was so proud of Jacob and was complimenting him on how he was able to win because he listened to their critique and applied it to the match, at which point Jacob looked at Caleb and said, “I just wanted to win so I could get candy.” Two points for honesty!

SIX!

Today a 6-year-old boy took up residence in our house. And tomorrow, when I have recovered from our jam-packed day, I will recap all that happened…

Self-Sufficient.

Take a look at what I walked into this morning. And then be jealous.

As I was upstairs getting dressed, Jacob took it upon himself to serve everyone a cereal breakfast with milk—that only spilled a little bit—and cups of juice. Everyone is eating. No one is fighting. And it appears that I am not nearly as important as everyone makes me out to be. I’m okay with that!

From the mouths of babes.

Convo between Camryn, Mason, and myself:

Me: Camryn, say "Santa."
Camryn: Santa.
Mason: Camryn, say "Castrator."
Me: Uhh.... what?
Mason: You know, that toy we have that we put our fake money in.
Me: Oh, you mean "Cash register."

Still laughing. And willing to bet money that Mason may be the youngest kid ever to say "castrator."

My Gramps.

Thanksgiving was my Grandpa’s favorite holiday, and yesterday—just a handful of days after turning 89—my grandpa passed away. Though it was no surprise, it is still heartbreaking to lose anyone you love. And I sure did love him. His eyes and smile that lit up his face. His kind heart. His soft-spoken demeanor (at least in later years after we were all old enough to stop pissing him off by jumping on the beds!). His scruffy-beard kisses. His perfectly bald head. He always had a newspaper crossword puzzle folded in his hands and a hankie in his pocket. That was my Gramps.

[A picture from May of last year when my cousin got married.]

Gramps was an amazing cook, trained in the forces as the submarine pastry chef. And though I can’t say I was able to adopt his talent, I do make a pretty mean blueberry muffin, which was an iconic breakfast treat we would eat when we spent the night at his house. Gramps went to bed early and woke up early. And he was always listening to talk radio in the dining room—and doing his crossword puzzle—when we would mosey downstairs in the morning, with the smell of those muffins waking up our noses!

[Snuggling in bed with my Grandpa when I had to be about 2 years old.]

Gramps was my—all of the grandchildren, really—biggest fan. He attended almost as many of my ice skating competitions as I did, and he supported me from the stands by blowing a wooden train whistle that was louder than the cheers of any other spectator. Of course it was mortifying, but my friends and I always knew when he was in attendance! 

[Gramps with my Great Grandma (his mom) and my dad in the background at one of my ice skating shows.]

Growing up, I was fortunate enough to go on family trips with him and my grandma to obscure locations around the Midwest. Among those trips: A blueberry festival in Michigan, a lumberjacking competition in Wisconsin, the Field of Dreams in Iowa, and a summertime loge resort in Illinois. We would caravan to these destinations—my mom, aunts, cousins, and me. And whoever got “stuck” riding with Gramps behind the wheel would listen to him sing songs from the past that would tie in with our destination all the while driving at a max speed of 45 mph. And if ever we asked him “Are we there yet?” his answer would always be “in an hour-and-a-half.” 

Life got busy, I got older and time passed. But my Grandpa was always a big part of my life.

[Gramps, me, and Sadie more than 13 years ago!]

He attended my wedding. Kept the secret that I was pregnant with Jacob until I gave him the all-clear. And hitched a ride to our house for every single birthday party that my kids had. He took on the new name of “Great Great-Pa” and the kids and I took regular trips up to his new, assisted living residence—“The Hotel” as he called it—to swim in the pool. My boys loved going there to swim as Gramps sat poolside and undoubtedly thanked his lucky stars that the chaos of my family was only temporary and that he would enjoy the quiet after we left!

[Mason’s second and third birthday parties. Three out of four generations. My mom is very elusive when it comes time to take pictures!]

Gramps was a man with few emotions and even fewer words, and never said “I love you,” at least not to me. Not long ago, though, I received a phone call from my Grandpa who had clearly accidently dialed me as he was trying to reach my mom. The confusion of modern cell phones—stories for another time—but we got talking for a minute, he and I did,—which was huge. In fact, it was a game to see who could keep Grandpa on the phone the longest. And, really, anything over a minute and you were going for world record status! But as we were getting off the phone—which would turn out to be our last phone conversation—I told Gramps that I loved him, as I always did. And, instead of the usual “OK, honey,” he responded back with an “I love you, too.” Of course I already knew that, but it was something special to hear, and decades in the making!

I spent our last visit together not more than a week or so ago, and though our visit was brief, I got to see the twinkle in his eyes one last time, and I will carry that with me forever.

[Gramps wearing one of my cousin Cortney’s wigs many, many years ago. See that twinkle?!]

And though it was hard to say goodbye to Gramps on a holiday, it was fitting that my Grandpa passed on Thanksgiving so that he could spend his favorite holiday with all of those he loved! I truly am blessed to have had such a wonderful Grandpa and to share so many memories with him!

Feast!

Thanksgiving happened at Mason's school on Monday. I volunteered to help prepare the feast of chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and corn. Mason had no idea that I was going to be there, and was so excited to see me! He ate everything on his plate in record time--something that has never happened in his lifetime--and I was able to snap a picture of us in between bites. Happy Thanksgiving!

Snuggled.

And to think this is what I thought parenting was going to be like…

At least it is for a solid 1% of the time!

Don’t judge me.

I give my baby daughter salon-style blow-outs every time I wash her hair.

Because if I didn’t…

Holy nappy mullet!

Mo-vember is underway.

Caleb is taking part in raising funds for men’s health through his clinic by growing a mustache as part of Mo-vember. It’s bad. Not the fundraising. His ‘stache. I personally believe that his mustache makes him look stupid. Like, literally, dumb in the brain. I can’t look at him without laughing because he looks ridiculous. And creepy. And gross. And like a sleaze ball. All in one package. Ugh!

So when I came downstairs to find Mason with this hand-drawn beauty, we marched straight to the bathroom to scrub off the evidence. He said he wanted to look like his dad. I said no way, Jose.  One face caterpillar is enough for this house!

Pals.

 
Camryn loves dogs. And she loves Sadie. She follows our poor dog around the house yelling “Saysee!” all day. Whenever she hears a dog bark—ours or not—she say “uff, woof,” and she pushes Sadie’s food container around the house stopping every foot or so to give Sadie a kibble (or is it a bit?!). It has taken Sadie 13 years and three kids, but I think she has finally given in to our family dynamics. She really is a trooper!

Pals.

 

These two spend a lot of time together. I found them paling around in this newly found tent, giggling about some sort of inside joke. Though, at this age, they mostly play next to each other, I suspect that they will be buddies as they get older.

Friday Field Trip

Black smoke FILLED the sky near the edge of our neighborhood, so of course we had to go investigate. And this is what we found:

The fire fighters had started this controlled fire of an abandoned farmhouse. The boys thought it was a pretty amazing sight, and had I known that we could see it all from our backyard, I would have saved us the trip of trekking over there in the freezing cold! Though it was a sight to see close up.

Greedy little devils.

Every major retail venue has released their Christmas marketing catalogs (early, yes?), and my boys have had their greedy little paws on every single page. And if I hear “I waaaannnnntttttt that!” one more time, I may just break. Hot wheels race tracks? I want that! Action figures? I want that! Barbie dolls? I want that! Plush animals? Baby rattles? Crap that just looks plain stupid? I want that! Commercials and catalogs have turned my kids rotten.

This is what I see when I hear those three eye twitching words! Congrats toy companies, you have done your job. My kids want what you got, so when can we tune out the media?!

The neighborhood gang

I love our new neighborhood. The houses, the landscaping, and a street full of friendly neighbors. Love it all! The boys have made fast friends with all of the dudes on our street, and there are plenty of girls who they will probably like to be friends with in the next ten years. We certainly made the right move!

[Jacob and Mason with their friends Braden and Brody. They are the same ages and their parents are Hawkeye fans! Bonus: They have a bounce house in their backyard. Life is grand!]

*Mason has made himself comfortable at their house many times. He has been caught playing in their sandbox when no one is home, and helped himself to Halloween candy and a cartoon with their older sister when the rest of the family was gone. I have got to get my child under control…

Cirqu du so fun!

The circus was in town, so my friend and I packed up the boys and headed to the big top. It was Cirque Italia, complete with acrobatics and water displays. The boys knew that it wasn’t going to be a traditional circus and, to my surprise, they LOVED it! For the entire show, the boys sat stiller than I expected with their eyes glued to the arena (popcorn helps!). Jacob took several videos of the performers—even walking down the aisle to get a closer shot! And both boys have been reliving the event with those videos. So cute. So fun!

Ghosts, and spiders, and crop dusters, oh my!

Halloween happened like this: Snow, yes SNOW, and high winds canceled the boys’ outdoor parades, so the indoor parade backup plan was in effect (oh, shucks!)…

Jacob was a scary ghost/zombie. Make-up compliments of Mimi. That art degree is coming in handy! Isn’t he the cutest scary thing ya ever seen?!

Mason got to live his dream of “being” Dusty Crophopper. Complete with a face-paint windshield. Because when big brother is getting his face painted, ain’t no way you gonna miss out!

 

And Camryn was the itsy bitsy spider. The cutest spider I have ever seen!

After school, the boys headed out with a group of neighbors and collected an insane amount of candy while itsy bitsy and I stayed home, handed out treats, and ate homemade soup. I would say we all got what we wanted!

Girls’ Day Out

 

I don’t work on Wednesdays, and both boys are in school that day, so for the afternoon it is just me and my girl paling around. Today we grabbed a bite to eat at the food court in the mall. I love, love, love our one-on-one time together because it is so rare, and I actually get to “know” my leading lady. So special!

The annual carving of the pumpkins.

 

I don’t know many details of what went on tonight –I was out drinking, I mean planning, with the PTO ladies—but a couple of scary jack-o-lanterns greeted me as I pulled in to our driveway tonight. Mason said the guts were gross. And Jacob said his pumpkin’s face was spooky. That’s all the info I could shake out of the boys. Either way, cross that off the ol’ Halloween to-do list!

Soccer ended.

 
And Mason may have scored his first goal. See above. We will never know for sure. I was home with a sick Camryn. Jacob wasn’t watching. Caleb wasn’t sure if Mason actually was the one who kicked it. And Mason, I don't think, knows what a soccer ball is let alone what it means to score a goal. But to feed his ego, we will let Mason believe that he got a goal. No harm in that! Through the course of the season, Mason went from always spinning circles and lolly-gagging on the field to actually running after the ball. Success!
 
Same game. Running. And lolly-gagging. Wouldn’t be Mason if he weren’t lolly-gagging!

Jacob did really well. He had a blast, and smiled the ENITRE game! Such a fun kid to watch play!
Next up: wrestling. More to come on that one…

Best. Sunday. Ever.

I may have not-so-subtly suggested that Caleb be in charge of the amigos on Sunday so that I could accomplish three years of forgotten tasks in a matter of hours. And he delivered. He took the boys out to breakfast at a restaurant. And then he packed up the family, sans moi, and headed off to the second pumpkin patch in as many weeks. Caleb said it was hokey, but the kids loved it. I don’t know all of the details of the trip, but what I do know is that the boys came home with painted faces, and Jacob ran in to his tee-ball “fling.”  I think I might push to have Kid-Free Sunday become a weekly event…