Glow.

 

Meet Glow. Glow is a ratty, tattered, stinky, Glow Worm that is also Camryn’s lovie. Camryn sucks on one ear, and rubs the other. It keeps her calm. She needs Glow, so we need Glow. And yesterday when we were leaving the grocery store, Camryn was throwing her typical, pre-terrible twos fit as I was trying to buckle her in to her car seat. Somewhere during her fit, Glow was chucked from the car. I realized that when we got home and couldn’t find the darn doll. And then I threw a fit because I had a car full of groceries that needed to be put away and three kids that I had to wrangle back in the car so we could go retrieve Camryn’s lifeline. GAH! We arrived back to the grocery store not more than 15 minutes after we left, and I went straight to the lost and found. Nada. So I very creepily scoured the parking lot beneath the cars at ground zero. Gone. And then, for whatever reason, I called to a cart collector kid on our way out of the parking lot to ask if he had seen Glow. At which point he reached in to the garbage can and pulled out our beloved Glow! My blood pressure returned to normal, and the rage left my body. And as we pulled away from the grocery store, Mason very matter-of-factly without any sort of emotion stated: It sure is a good thing we found that f***ing Glow Worm.

Couldn’t agree more, Mason. And I will carefully choose my adjectives next time I am angry!

From us to you…

Wishing you the best holiday ever!

Catch up #9

On the ninth day of catch up, my blog post will read:
Mason says the craziest things.

For Mason’s holiday program at school, the kiddos acted out a poem in which candy canes fall from a tree, and the kids pick them up and eat them. Being the animated little ham that Mason is, he adlibbed by picking up his non-existent candy cane and very loudly exclaimed: Woah!!! That was biiiiiggggg one!

And then when we were driving in the dark the other night, something thunked against the outside of our car near where Mason was sitting. We asked Mason if he saw anything. This was his very serious answer: Yes. A giraffe. It kicked the car.

And let’s not forget that time on Thanksgiving when Mason saw a pair of dishwashing gloves draped over the counter and announced: Hey, someone left their hands in the sink…

This kid absolutely cracks me up. And a big part of me believes that he has no idea he is being funny.

Catch up #8

On the eighth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Me buying myself the perfect jewelry.

A story for the ages begins with me. The Saturday before Thanksgiving.

Since becoming a mom, I have wanted a piece of jewelry to represent my children. I knew I wanted rings. And I knew that I didn’t want birthstones. The rest remained gray, and years passed by as my mind thought about the details. Sadly, this August my aunt passed away very unexpectedly. She left behind her inheritance to my mom and her siblings. And my mom shared some of the inheritance with my brother and me as a gift from my aunt. It was a couple days after receiving this that I knew exactly what I was going to do with the money: I was going to buy three rings, each as unique as my kiddos. And this is what I came up with:

I randomly called up my mom one Saturday a few weeks back and asked her if she would like to go shopping with me. I had no intentions to look for rings that night, but as fate would have it, we ended up in the mall. In a jewelry story. Stacking rings. No dice. I wasn’t in love with anything I tried on, and we left. I told my mom that there was no way that I would jump in to making such a big purchase without sleeping on it—even if it felt right. It’s just not me. I think things through without making any rash decisions. And then for giggles, we went in to another jewelry store a few fronts down. I tried on those three rings. And without hesitation, I bought them. No sooner had my sleep-on-it conversation with Mom cleared the air than I was handing over my credit card to the sales clerk. So now I have three rings—each completely different than the next—stacked on my right ring finger. They have taken up permanent residence on my hand, and I will always think of my kiddos, my aunt, and my mom when I look down at my sparkly sentiments.  My hope is that I can pass one ring down to each of my children, and someday they will do the same. They can fight over who gets which ring after I’m gone!

Catch up #7

On the seventh day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Our dishwasher crapping out for two weeks.

It's not until stuff like this happens that you really appreciate modern conveniences. Thinking I should have purchased economy packs of Chinette, and saved myself the time of hand-washing everything. And realizing hand-washing is easier said than done, as I am noticing a soapy froth on the top of all our drinks (and morning cereal. Eww.). Lesson learned: Rinse twice, and never let your home warranty company control repairs.

Catch up #6

On the sixth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob’s friends coming over for a party.

Because when you start school, ain’t no way are you going to “settle” for a family-only par-tay! So we invited a dozen kids over to get rowdy and rambunctious in our basement. Our unfinished basement. Where nothing can get broken. And it was a blast! We started out with an ornament-making craft, decorated our goodie bags, and then quickly moved on to games. Lots of relays. Lots of prizes. Lots of fun! Will I do it again? Absolutely! But thankful that, for now, hosting a birthday celebration is just a once-a-year event!

Catch up #5

On the fifth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob ruling the roost on his birthday.

 

Caleb surprised Jacob on his birthday by taking the morning off work, which meant some serious family fun time. It started with a trip to the toy store where Jacob was given $20 by us to pick out anything in the store he wanted. And after perusing the aisles several times, he carefully selected a remote control car that he paid for all by himself at checkout. Hot stuff! A quick stop back home to play with said toy, and it was time to head out to lunch—at McDonald’s of course! The kids sucked down their food in record time so as to not waste any valuable play time. And at about the time that the boys were making friends with all of the other kids, it was time to pack up shop and head out to school. Jacob came home from school with a birthday crown and a story about how everyone who sat at his table was sick and that he got to sit at another table so that he wouldn’t be alone on his birthday. Pathetic? My family joined us for cake, ice cream, and chaos later on that evening. And all small members of my family were in bed before Modern Family came on. Phew! A busy and fun day for us all. I love birthdays!

Catch up #4

On the fourth day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob’s middle-of-the-night birthday party.

Jacob turned six last Wednesday, and he and I rang in his sixth year at two in the morning. On the dining room floor. Opening an LCD light-up candle. His idea. Not mine. So in the middle of the night I was awakened by what I would discover was an incredibly excited birthday boy who was downstairs cutting open the package to this obnoxious candle he picked out. Rule was that he couldn’t open it until his birthday. Seems he took that statement a bit more literal than expected. We cleaned up the mess, and headed back upstairs. And would you know that our elf on the shelf surprised Jacob with a bouquet of balloons at the foot of his bed? Well, the elf screwed up. Big time. Because if you touch the elf, he loses his magic. And if the elf is holding the balloons, and you can’t touch him, then you can’t touch the balloons. Damn elf caused a middle-of-the-night meltdown. And after I calmed down Jacob, I woke Caleb and suggested that our elf find a new place to rest. And he did. Chucked in the depths of our closet. That’ll teach him!

Catch up #3

On the third day of catch up, my blog post will be:
Jacob’s second lost tooth will probably cause him to need therapy.

Tooth #2 bit the dust last week. And, oh boy, was that a struggle. Let me paint the picture: It’s a wrestling practice night, Jacob’s tooth is flapping out of his mouth as he talks, and Caleb and I were trying to impress upon him the importance of yanking it before practice to avoid a swallowed tooth or—even worse—a literally lost tooth on the wrestling mats. Jacob wimped out, spiraled in to a blubbering mess, we tried to bribe him with ice cream and candy for dinner, and I ended up pinning him to the floor while Caleb pulled the tooth free from the last remaining thread of gum. As collateral for the pain Caleb caused, I let Jacob sock Caleb in the gut. Fair is fair. And when parental trust issues surface years down the road, he will have this experience to reference. The question I will probably never ask him: Wasn’t it worth the buck the tooth fairy left?

Catch up #2

On the second day of catch up, my blog post will be:

Jacob spelling the word boloney.


Out-of-the-blue convo with Jacob:

Jacob: Mom, I know how to spell boloney.
Me: How?
Jacob: BS

We will go with that for now, but we may have to revisit the spelling of this word in first grade...

Catch Up #1

On the first day of catch up, my blog post will be:

Jacob wearing a singlet and wrestling.

Jacob starting wrestling, oh, a month or so ago, and has competed in tournaments the past two weekends. And though he has only won one of four pairings, he looks adorable in his little wrestling costume (HA!) and leaves happy regardless of wins or losses because he gets a medal every time.

Rewind to last weekend: After his first match up—in which he was pinned—Caleb and Jacob were going over video footage and discussing what he could have done differently. And to get Jacob to listen, Caleb struck a deal with Jacob in which he could pick out any candy item as a victory prize should he win the next pairing. And Jacob won! He was using techniques that the two were discussing, he look determined and he won by nearly 10 points. Caleb was so proud of Jacob and was complimenting him on how he was able to win because he listened to their critique and applied it to the match, at which point Jacob looked at Caleb and said, “I just wanted to win so I could get candy.” Two points for honesty!

SIX!

Today a 6-year-old boy took up residence in our house. And tomorrow, when I have recovered from our jam-packed day, I will recap all that happened…

Self-Sufficient.

Take a look at what I walked into this morning. And then be jealous.

As I was upstairs getting dressed, Jacob took it upon himself to serve everyone a cereal breakfast with milk—that only spilled a little bit—and cups of juice. Everyone is eating. No one is fighting. And it appears that I am not nearly as important as everyone makes me out to be. I’m okay with that!

From the mouths of babes.

Convo between Camryn, Mason, and myself:

Me: Camryn, say "Santa."
Camryn: Santa.
Mason: Camryn, say "Castrator."
Me: Uhh.... what?
Mason: You know, that toy we have that we put our fake money in.
Me: Oh, you mean "Cash register."

Still laughing. And willing to bet money that Mason may be the youngest kid ever to say "castrator."