I thought we may just ease into the idea by doing a spooky haunted hay ride this year, but things escalated quickly and the kids and I found ourselves in line at the “scariest haunted house in Illinois” on Saturday.
Hell’s Gate—not a name for those casually interested in a spook—was AMAZING! We parked in an off-site parking lot and then school busses shuttled us to our location, but not before everyone air dropped everyone an unnecessary amount of random photos on the bus. Upon arrival, we were ushered through ticket lines before being given the choice to hang out at the food trucks and bar or hop in line. We hopped in line.
This is when things got real. Each kiddo brought a friend. Cam had her trusty sidekick and the boys each brought someone I had never before met. Trusting parents! Tensions were running high, and some looked much more pale than others. I reminded everyone that this is just a spooky fantasy and that it’s fun to be scared when we know it’s not real. And then I was immediately jump-scared by a creepy circus performer. You bet I screamed!
The ambience in line was amazing! It was a circus filled with misfit clowns and other creeps dancing along to heavy metal music laced with Shania Twain. No joke. I was worried about the girl, being that she is only 9, and she was also worried about herself. Tickets were too expensive to bow out early, so getting out of line wasn’t an option. We marched on, and 30 minutes later it was our turn to walk through the haunted graveyard en route to the haunted house. Cam held my hand tight, but once she knew how to spot the spooks, she was all good and by the end of the 40 minute haunt, she was walking ahead of me hands-free and carrying on conversations with the actors!
This operation ran as smoothly as Disney, and the house we “toured” was decked out to the extreme. We began by leaving the foyer through the fireplace upon which we entered a kitchen pantry filled with eyeballs and pig carcasses only to be chased by a chef with a meat cleaver. There were so many rooms in this house but one of the most memorable included a room filled with creepy dolls, some of which were living and missing eyes. At one point, we had to take a slide down to the bottom of the house, and we walked on what felt like a creaky bridge in one room and a squishy floor in another. The set design was incredible!
Camryn made friends with one of the “maids” who carried on an actual conversation with her, noting Camryn’s age and size and telling her that “kids are so much smaller these days than when I was 9!”
Once we made it out of the house alive, we entered this huge party-like atmosphere with several of the same scary creatures, but instead of trying to scare us, they were all about selfies and fist pumps. Perfectly round, white bubbles filled the air, and would explode into a cloud of smoke if you touched them. Seriously, the attention to detail was on point!
The boys each gave it a 10/10 and promised me to take them all back next year. Deal!
{Standing in line and feeling a bit nervous!}
{Cam and Danica crossed paths with this beauty several times during our evening.}
{Mason claims to have the best Be Real photo ever. I agree that it’s pretty solid. And I will admit I only know what a Be Real photo is because of SNL.}
{The boys after we survived.}
{The girls after we survived.}
{Our crew!}
{Those insane bubbles!}
{The party vibe after the scare was the perfect end!}
So glad we have finally graduated out of pumpkin patch!
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