My Apologies

Since last Wednesday, Caleb and I have been living a completely different life than we have ever known. And we have been raising our baby in a way that we would have never imagined. I appreciate everyone's well wishes and their concerns for us. And I apologize if I haven't been the best at returning phone calls, but, at this time, I am mostly interested in spending all of my energy and efforts in getting our little guy home with us as soon as we can. It is exhausting to spend the entire day at the hospital (but I wouldn't want to spend my day any other way at this point), and when I get home it takes what little energy I have left to get ready for bed. Please don't feel that I am avoiding you, and please don't feel like your phone calls are not important to Caleb and me; however, it is just very emotionally exhausting to have the same conversation with several different people each day. So, here is what you need to know:

Jacob is doing fantastically. He is drinking, from a bottle or nursing, most of his 45 cc requirements for each of his feedings. Because he is a tiny little thing, eating is very exhausting to him so the nurses only try to bottle feed him when he wants to otherwise it wears him out and he becomes very disorganized. Before they can remove his feeding tube, Jacob will have to drink all of his food from a bottle for 24-48 hours. He is getting there, but still needs some work. Every day I spend with him I see huge improvements in his feeding, and I can see him getting closer to turning that corner with each feeding.

Because he is a preemie, Jacob's brain is still immature, and every once in a while he forgets to breathe. It's nothing to be worried about, but it is a skill he will have to master before he can come home (and, trust me, I want him to have that figured out before I will feel comfortable having him at home). The doctors require that he go seven days without having one of these "episodes" and each day he seems to be doing a better job at remembering to breathe.

Jacob is doing a great job gaining weight, which is something else he needs to prove to the doctors before he can leave. He is back up over the 5 pound mark, so I am completely confident that he has mastered the weight challenge. Another hurdle that Jacob had to get past was the jaundice. He had to go under the lights once (not at all unusual), but his levels are going down, and the doctors are sure he is past the point where his jaundice may creep back up. So that is another benchmark he has passed.

Please understand that Jacob is progressing each day, and each day is one day closer to him moving home with us. But please understand that the "How is Jacob doing" question really wears Caleb and me down, because this is a slow, steady process and we don't see, nor do we expect to see, a complete transformation over night. Again, Caleb and I do appreciate everyone's phone calls and concerns, but we really do need to focus our attention on the little guy rather than fielding questions. I promise I will post all updates on our blog, and I promise that once Jacob comes home I will be more in the mood to chat.

So here is the update of the day: Jacob took from a bottle for two consecutive feedings today. The first feeding he was able to drink 37 of 45 cc within 15 minutes; the second feeding he took 20 cc within 5 minutes before zonking out while I was burping him. I am sure tomorrow will be even more productive.